Category Archives: Whining

File under: Vanity is overrated

Written by serene. Posted on March 7, 2010. Filed under I am a sap, Whining. 5 Comments.

I am not vain, I swear. I really don’t care much about my appearance, just as long as I am comfortable. But I have had a lingering feeling that my long hair was boring. I decided to get it dyed. Being a poor college kid, I thought I’d get it done on the cheap at the Gary Manuel Aveda training salon.

My tale of woe begins yesterday, as I walked in for my appointment. I was immediately told that my hair was too dark to be done within the alloted 2 hour appointment. I was then told my wish of getting teal was also out of the question, as apparently there is some boring rule that one shouldn’t venture two shades outside of their normal color? All I knew was getting dark brown streaks was not exactly what I had in mind.

But whatever, I decide while I was in a chair and had two hours to kill, I’d let her play with my hair. Apparently this student was utterly clueless and uncreative. I kept saying “..but I look so plain…” and “this is not at all what I want” without any success. She was apologetic, saying that she just wasn’t sure what to do. Two hours later, I walked out looking like a Stepford Wife.

I woke up this morning with the resolve to get it fixed. There was no way I could give a presentation in my class tomorrow looking like a Martha Stewart Living subscriber. (No offense if that’s your bag, but I find that brand of normalcy utterly repulsive)

Living in Capitol Hill paid off, because I found a place open on Sundays that appeared to be up for the challenge. I would go get it fixed at a quirky little joint up on 15th. I would come home prancing with renewed confidence, even if I am finishing this weekend with a lot of hair chopped off. Sadly for her there wasn’t a lot to work with, so I ended up with even less hair and a bruised ego.

Vanity is so lame. I mean, honestly, who cares if I look bad. I will still give my presentation tomorrow, I’m pretty sure my husband will still find me attractive enough, and I have plenty of hats and scarves to disguise the errors in my judgement. If nothing else, at least it is Girl Scouts cookie time. I swear to you – Thin Mints can cure the most wicked of broken spirits.

Crickets.

Written by serene. Posted on January 23, 2009. Filed under Whining. No comments.

Yes, it’s been very quiet over here. Cricket-quiet even. This is not because my life has taken a turn for the boring and non-blog-worthy , but because I’ve gone into withdrawal mode. It happens periodically, usually during times of adjustment or strife. For me, the process of putting my life on display – photos on flickr, rants on livejournal, etc. – doesn’t help in these moments of dischord. I actively cocoon myself in warm thoughts and loving people in an effort to soothe my soul. Sometimes being present in the moment, and not looking for the coolest thing to photograph or the funniest bit to tweet, is what usually gets me through the shits.

So far it has been working out okay. I’ll update you all when the storm has passed.

MiniAir

Written by serene. Posted on December 1, 2008. Filed under Culture Club, Friends, Whining. 2 Comments.

I’m in the midst of CrazyChaosPanicTIme. You know, that time in a semester where everything is a flurry of chaos and stress eating and lots of writing, intersperced with bouts of hysteric laughing and Sir-Mix-A-Lot dance offs. Well my 100 page group paper is due on Friday, so hopefully things will calm down in a few. I promise to go into minute details that will make you cry after I get a little space from this very intense group process and project, but in the meantime, go wander this way and download some new music by Miniature Airlines (aka Successless aka Dylan). I was happy to lend some photos for the album artwork (which turned out lovely, of course) and the music provided a great writing soundtrack today. So, go on, what are you waiting for?

State of the union

Written by serene. Posted on April 23, 2008. Filed under Nerdy, Whining. 4 Comments.

I’ve been thinking long and hard about media and democracy. I can’t say it’s of my own volition, as I am taking a Political Science/Communications course titled “Media, Society, and Political Identity.” But I’m engaged, I’m thinking, and I’m trying to sort my way through this thick mental landscape.

And I’ve been thinking especially long and hard about the big, meta-level issues in preparation for my exam tomorrow. And I can’t say I like what conclusions I’ve come to. So, let me share with you some of these heavy issues…

1. Marketing and advertising has evolved into this hugely effective persuasion machine, effectively slicing up segements of society into target audiences (check out Claritas for some jolting information about your zip code, for example). Through customizing the most effective sales pitches to these different audiences, people are essentially getting different messages via the different content channels (like ESPN vs. A&E). So, if people are so separated and isolated from each other through different media outlets that they aren’t even receiving the same content and advertising messages, what is the glue that binds community? Is there such thing as community any more? Where is the common ground?

2. Public relations started benignly enough, with the intention of presenting facts (even if they were one-sided) to inform the ‘public’ to lubricate the overarching Western societal functions (ie. free market economy, representative democracy, etc.). This is lubricating because a revolting, disenfranchised public would ruin the whole gig for everyone by calling for reforms, etc. This benign communication tool has developed into this gross, cancerous mess with purposeful misinformation, fabricated pseudo-events (think presidential speeches), and distorted realities. But the evolution of PR isn’t all that bothers me – it is the reason for it to exist in the first place. Gustave Le Bon was the first, but certainly not the last, to articulate that the ‘crowd ‘ is composed of illogical, inferior people who need to be ruled by the elite class. A more modern writer, Philip Lesley, has articulated this view of the mass of people as essentially falsely inflated egos all clamoring to for representation because “millions of people who have been educated to think they should have a special place in society.” (The People Factor: Managing the Human Climate) This makes me want to cry.

3. What is the evolution of our media? With people like Rupert Murdoch buying up the dying newspapers in places like New York City and subsequently forcing out the staff (see the New York Times article from yesterday talking about the Wall Street Journal editor), and television content being directed by advertisers (to corral that coveted target audience), it’s obvious to me that the mass media doesn’t have the power (or will) to serve public interests. But with viewership down and people tuning out and creating internet resources when neglected by normal media outlets (West Seattle Blog, for example), does it even matter? Does anyone care about the beast dying in our midst, or is this going to cripple our public lives as we know it?

Ugh, sorry to bore you all to tears. I just needed to get this off my chest. Okay, maybe Ro is the exception to this bored state (since she has her MA in Media Studies), but does anyone else care? Does this bother you guys?

Life, chaotic.

Written by serene. Posted on April 20, 2008. Filed under Whining. 1 Comment.

Monday: Law School seminar
Tuesday: Geography reading. Catch up.
Wednesday: Hip-hop dance class
Thursday: Turn in visa paperwork for Denmark, Political Science exam.
Friday: Drink.
Saturday: Stumptown
Sunday: d.iscontent photo shoot.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

Remember to breathe.

Good News. Bad News.

Written by serene. Posted on March 27, 2008. Filed under Nerdy, Whining. 6 Comments.

The Good News:

I got a 3.9 this quarter! It’s the best GPA I’ve ever had. I’m pretty proud of myself, and glad I sacrificed all those nights. I would’ve been pissed if I had no social life in exchange for mediocre grades.

And – I got into the Denmark program!

The Bad News:

I think I’m going to have to bail on the Denmark program. Between finances and trying to figure out what to do with Freckles, it seems like there are too many barriers. You may laugh, as some of my friends have, at the idea of my dog preventing me from going abroad for a couple of months. But when I asked my Grandpa if he would watch him not only did he say no (which in his defense, I understand), he suggested I have him put to sleep. There is NO WAY I’m doing that. That is cruel, selfish, and totally absurd.

The only thing that prevents me from emailing the director right now and telling her I can’t go is this little, tiny, practically squelched voice camping out in the back of my head. Her conversations go something like this:

 You are old. Your chances to do something cool like this are floating away as we stand here, having this ridiculous internal debate. Plus, don’t let money get in your way. You just have to have faith that you can get loans together. And there are probably scholarships out there for you – just get off your lazy ass and find them. And if worst comes to worst, sell your eggs. You don’t have any use for them anyway.

What do you kids think? Should I do it? Should I bail? Should I tie them in a bow?

Day From Hell

Written by serene. Posted on March 11, 2008. Filed under Whining. 7 Comments.

Or: How a small bag of peanuts ruined my day, for which I will be paying for many years from now.

My story of RBFPA (Really Bad Fucking Peanut Allergy) started around 12:30. I bought a bag of peanuts. I eat nuts all the time, as I am a vegetarian and need the good oils and proteins and all that. About 10 minutes after eating this bag of peanuts, my tongue felt like it was swelling. I thought nothing of it, because I really had no reason to think anything weird was going on as I eat them all the time. As I walked on to work I felt short of breath, but my stress level has been high and, well, I had other stuff on my mind. I didn’t get much better at work, and when I barely squeaked out a phone conversation from my tensing throat, I decided something was amiss. I read online about peanut allergies on WebMD.com and how they are treatable with anti-histamines. I wheezed my way over to the bookstore to buy some, and went back to work. This was around 2pm.

I started to feel better.

Around 4pm, things got really REALLY bad. I started wheezing again, and my throat started contracting. Someone walked by my desk and asked if I was okay, to which I answered with a shrug. He then commented that my face was swelling. So, I called the consulting nurse at school. She told me to hang up and call 911.

But, I don’t have health insurance. I decided I couldn’t do that. Let’s be real – I can barely afford my rent.

My boss called his wife, who also has a peanut allergy, and she instructed me to double my Benadryl dosage (so, after this I’ve taken 150 mg of Benadryl in 2 hours) and to get to the health clinic on campus. I tell my boss I will walk over there, but he insists that he and his wife will drive me over.

We get into the clinic, and I notice people are kind of panicking. I’m not really sure why, and feel like it’s a lot of overkill. I talk to the doctor and tell him what happened and what I’ve taken. He nods politely for a bit, and gives me the news: he won’t let me leave the clinic, he has called an ambulance, and I need to go to the hospital right away. They give me an epinephrine shot (which is adrenaline) to get my reaction to stop.

By the time the medics get there, I’m am TWEAKED out: I’m sleepy from the Benadryl, shaking from the ephinephine, and pissed off that I have to go to the hospital. Apparently this is mostly internal, as the medic gives the doctor a quizzical look and says I’m the most lucid peanut allergy they have ever seen. They start to make the obvious jokes about my name, and one of the medics tells me he thinks my shirt is cute.

By the time they wheel me out of the clinic, quite dramatically in the 5pm traffic and drizzling Seattle rain, I can’t feel my fingers and my heart is leaping out of my chest. I just stare at the ceiling of the ambulance, asking the flirty medic about all the gear hanging from above. It’s all I can do to keep my mind clear, because at this point I’m just scared and want to talk to someone other than these doctors who keep telling me how grave my situation is.

I get in to the ER (which, if you look at a campus map of UW, is maybe a mile away from the clinic), I talk to some nurses and the attending doctor and wait. And wait some more. The hospital tells me they can’t call Dylan (my emergency contact) because his number is from California. So I try to call Dylan from my phone, but can’t get any reception because I’m in ER room BFE and I’m in no position to move. Now I really start to feel sorry for myself: my arm is shaking so bad from the epinephrine I can’t really read what I’m trying to text Dylan, I have no one else to call, my life sucks, this fucking bill is going to be insane, etc.

You can pretty much predict how it went from here, outside of needing another epinephrine shot because the allergy started to flare again. They decided that I could go home around 9pm, gave me a shit ton of steroid and anti-inflammatory medicine and – get this – my very own mobile epinephrine shot. I officially have RBFPA, and need to use it if someone sneaks in some peanuts into my food because I will go into anaphylaxic shock. Yes, like Freaks and Geeks.

Funny how life works out sometimes.

28 going on 20

Written by serene. Posted on January 14, 2008. Filed under Nerdy, Whining. 5 Comments.

To commemorate my first week of school without offing myself in a dramatic, but maybe hilarious, manner, I bring you the summarization of impressions while attending UW as the Oldest Junior Ever:

The Good:

  • Women Studies is very fascinating and awesome and I’m sad I’ve never taken a class in the field before
  • The removal of self from corporate office work is really liberating
  • My longer commute (~ 30 minutes) gives me time to people watch
  • I will probably lose weight from walking the gazillion miles around campus
  • It looks like I will be employed in the computing department helping folks with networking issues

The Bad:

  • My writing is rusty and it’s taking me longer to prepare my papers than I ever remember
  • The quarter system is a faster pace which I’m not used to (this will probably turn into a good at some point)
  • I am forced to acknowledge my age when I hear girls squealing about the new Fall Out Boy album, or the like. I just don’t get it.
  • I am a sorority girl magnet. They all want to sit next to me and talk about which tanning bed they prefer. You think I’m exaggerating, but I am not.

The Ugly:

  • I have to get all A’s. As someone never motivated by letter grades, this seems daunting
  • If my communication class is any indicator (450 people in a TRANSFERS ONLY class – yeesh!), it will be an uphill battle to get accepted into the department
  • My English teacher hates me
  • My back is angry at the extra heavy load I’m forcing it to carry

So that about sums it up at this point. It’s awesome and exhilarating and scary all in one, and it’s all that I wanted.

Lessons learned this holiday season; a play

Written by serene. Posted on December 26, 2007. Filed under Friends, Whining. 2 Comments.

At RISE: 

(Work cubicle, South Lake Union neighborhood - 3:43 pm, Wednesday.

A sweeping crane shot starting outside in the gray, overcast, commercial neighborhood to a figure seated in chair. The office is quiet and everything appears to be lifeless. The figure is slouched over a keyboard with feet propped up.)  

FIGURE 1 

If this day doesn’t end soon, I’m going to off myself. These long December days do nothing for my mood and I am on the brink of losing it.  

(The person slowly turns to face the camera and see from the profile it is a woman. Zoom out to see FIGURE 1 swiveling her chair towards another person. FIGURE 2 leans over the cubicle wall.)

FIGURE 2

Aren’t you being a bit melodramatic? Sure, the holidays suck. But there are good qualities, like spending time with your family and eating heart ravaging quantities of food.

 FIGURE 1

Yes, you are right. Thank you for showing me the light.

(Figure 1 rolls her eyes dramatically. A crack of a smile emerges.)

FIGURE 1

You know, the holidays were really great this year. I learned a couple of things. First, VH1 marathons will destroy your soul, no matter what the context of the show. I learned that champagne and wine mixed into one evening is a bad idea. I also remembered why I love My So-Called Life and Brian Krakow. Best part of all? No family bickering or overstuffing my face because I bowed out of the fesitivities.

FIGURE 2

Isn’t that a bit depressing? Not spending time with your family while expelling these vile feelings towards the holidays seems a little…I dunno…dramatic?

FIGURE 1

You are right. I’m being a tool. I’ll quiet down now.

(Slowly zoom out, while Figures 1 and 2 continue their conversation. The screen fades to black with “Eleanor Rigby” by The Beatles playing.)

END SCENE

Hurdle jumping like a track star

Written by serene. Posted on December 5, 2007. Filed under Whining. 5 Comments.

So many things going on, so little time.

Measles immunizations vs. Serene: As someone who has made approximately ten moves since leaving the nest, how in the world could I be expected to keep my immunizations records? As a smarty pants, I decided I’d get a blood test to prove I am immune to measles. Great plan, except I FAILED. So panic ensued this morning, needlessly. I <a href=”http://www.flexcar.com</a>flexcared</a> my way to UW to get my shot and have the measles hold taken off my registration. I am Serene, hear me RAWR. I’ll be a Husky in a couple of weeks, for realsies.

Queen Anne, the new stomping grounds: I just got the official call – I’ll be moving to a much cheaper one bedroom apartment in Queen Anne in a few weeks. My original plan of sweet group housing fell through, due to a certain geratric dog and his weak bladder (and my bleeding heart, to a degree). I’ll miss Capitol Hill, but not the high rent, the bad karaoke from The Crescent keeping me awake, or the high prices at City Market.

Plea for entertainment: And I also wanted to extend an invite for people to entertain me while Dylan is in California from December 21-25. I LOATHE Christmas and welcome any and all distractions from this wretched holiday. I have to make plans or else I will be forced to consume vast amounts of whiskey to drown out the lame carols and the ugly decorations.