Monthly Archives: May 2009

I’ve been quiet lately.

It’s not for lack of things to say. It’s almost as if I’ve forgotten how to say the things that are on my mind. I’ve been wrapped up in my head. Is it the looming 3-0 in July? Is it contentment? I’m not sure.

I’ve been obsessed with my future. School knocked my confidence this quarter. I signed up for a logic class to prepare for the LSAT. NOTHING has made me feel so dumb and so inadequate in all my life. My epic failure made me wonder if I’m even cut out for the cut-throat world of law. And what the hell makes me so damn confident that I’ll be able to right the wrongs in the world? Blind optimism? No, that’s not my style. Stubbornness? Most likely.

So now, faced with graduation hoovering in the near future and a summer filled with GRE and LSAT preparations, I’m having a crisis of faith. Faith in my abilities, faith in the economy, faith in success. What does it all mean, anyway?

Existential ponderings aside, I’m happy. Like, really really happy. Unfortunately this has resulted in a decreased need for friends. All of a sudden I’ve looked around and realized that I have stopped fostering and nuturing my friendships. I’m not sure what this means, or how it makes me feel. Lonely, disenfranchised, disappointed, or pleased? Who knows – probably all of the above.