Those last four minutes of My So-Called Life cut to my emotional core in such a quick and effective way that I’m often left dumbfounded in its wake. This probably explains why I’m up at 2 am, feeling compelled to write after spending my evening in warm pajamas covered under a blanket, drinking tea, and clumsily wiping tears from my eyes.
Watching this series is such a vivid flashback for me that it is borderline unhealthy. The show aired in 1994-1995, when I was fifteen. While I was nothing like the fictional fifteen year old Angela Chase, I still felt kinship and warmth for her character. My ability to watch the show critically was probably severely stunted by this age similarity. Well that, and the raging hormones. Either way, there was very real quality to her character, as well as the rest of the cast, that I associated with people in my life. The result of all this is a Pavlovian reaction to the starting credits. Instantly, I am fifteen again, laying on my stomach in my Grandpa’s living room on Pampas Drive, simultaneously feeling awkward and sentimental and wistful.
Publicly admitting how weepy it gets me also outs me as a closet romantic. I can’t help it, though I wish I could. This romanticism can be quite destructive – having a fictious idea of what a crush looks and feels like, a distorted idea of how love is displayed, a convoluted view of what people do when they like is each other is nothing but trouble. But it does feel good to get swept away in those moments, right? I figure as long as it doesn’t interfere with healthy relationships, it isn’t all that bad.
Beyond my sentimental garbage, the quality of My So-Called Life is nothing short of genius. The tackling of very real and relevant social issues, like homophobia, single-parenthood, and homelessness represent just one dimension of brilliance the show had. The superb casting and cinematography are further reasons why I can still watch these episodes and not feel shame for the fervor I felt for the show (much unlike my sad and lengthy obsession for Deee-lite).
So, go ahead, watch those four minutes. I dare you to not get misty.
5 Comments
You’re not the only one with the Deee-lite obsession. As a matter of fact, as I’m commenting I realise I’ve had a dream featuring Deee-lite. Straaaange!
As far as My So Called Life is concerned, I probably have to watch it again. I remember wanting to watch it when it was on, but I was on my Neil Postman-television is bad bad bad- phase that part of me dismissed it as yet another 90210 fad. Such is the hypocrisy of media studies grad students.
And don’t knock yourself out too much for being a romantic, is it, after all, really so bad?
Oh Serene,
Yet another reminder that you and i were cut from the same “hate being sentimental/emotional beings” mold. I also hate admitting i am a closet… uughghhhh.. *gritting teeth* romantic as well, yet i have found in my marraige that its actually a bit of security to have something “secret” like that to confide in your significant other. As for “my so called life”… Wasn’t so much a fan.. most because of my OWN raging hormones back in that era, ill have to give it a second run. I suppose my eqivalent would have been “the goonies” i watched that movie with teary eyes incessantly (even though it was generations before mine) comparing my life and the lives of my friends to it. Yes, boys are weird.
As you could probably figure out, I loooooove MSCL!! I have been meaning to get the DVD set from Amazon for sometime becuase I have a gift card.
…and dude, I cry at SPCA commercials. C’MON!
Love you!
Seriously, you know how you KNOW that show was amazing and tackled real issues? Because it got cancelled. Like Freaks and Geeks. And in it’s wake it left… what, Saved By The Bell? THAT went on for like 3847503 seasons?? Not to say I hate that show, but adults don’t want their kids knowing about REAL issues, which explains why our generation has 1 out of every 500 kids that is awesome and smart, and the rest are disgusting idiots.
(Good thing a lot of us 1/500th people found each other!)
i unashamedly like deee-lite. but then again, once a raver, always a raver, so i have an excuse
and my so-called life too.