Monthly Archives: November 2007

Overtime blues

Written by serene. Posted on November 28, 2007. Filed under Nerdy. 11 Comments.

A question posed during a work meeting many moons ago resulted in an ill-advised move to sign up for 17 hours of overtime a week between now and Christmas. This shift involves a lot of quiet moments and has left too much time on my hands, which has mostly been spent tallying amount made per hour and plotting how to use this extra money.

Ideas thus far:

  • 13″ black MacBook (Sorry Ludie – it runs Unix)
  • broke-ass-going-back-to-college-and-buying-overpriced-textbooks fund
  • catch up on comics
  • travel to East Coast (Hi Ro!)
  • pay off debt (YAWN)
  • buy new photo gear: SB-800, wide angle lens, new scanner, etc.

What would you guys do?

Better known as DELAYED AWESOMENESS

Written by serene. Posted on November 26, 2007. Filed under I am awesome. 7 Comments.

Those who have known me the longest (which is mostly folks from high school as that was the first time I was immobile for an extended period of time) can testify: I can be ball-busting, intimidating, and exceptionally driven. It was not unusual to see me stomping around my high school campus because everyone sucked and I was so above spending nights getting drunk off of malt liquor at Nine Mile Hill.

But somewhere along my path I quieted this rage. I learned that it’s hard to coexist with people if they hate you. I learned it’s hard to find people to kiss when your face is permanently twisted into a scowl.

I’ve discovered that the end result of this squelching is passivity. This segues into an apparent indecisiveness, which is honestly disinterest; I don’t care what we do for dinner because it’s really just food at the end, I can’t be bothered to choose a movie to watch because I feel like I’ve seen them all before, I really don’t care if we go to that party because I’ve overheard the same people having the same boring conversation at the same parties I’ve been going to since I turned 15.

I’m a snob and a half. And as previously stated, I’ve been known to be intimidating and scary when I know what I want. So can these two traits coexist in one body?

My conclusion: Life really sucks when it’s mundane – particularly when you are driven to really do some awesome shit. I always thought this was a feeling my peers shared. After many sober and not sober discussions on the matter, it’s been clear that it isn’t. So in order to change my bored outlook on life and reignite my drive to actually do something rather than rot under flickering florescent lights and stale circulating air in an office, I’ve decided to kick my ass in gear.

I’m going back in time folks. Going back to school as the worlds oldest junior (trademark pending) will be weird. And even more odd is that I’m going back to school for my first love – journalism. And don’t be surprised if you happen to be at UW and see an old, greying woman shouting profanities at the whippersnappers and whispering dick and fart jokes to cute boys.

Not excited at all

Written by serene. Posted on November 23, 2007. Filed under I am awesome, Nerdy. 4 Comments.

 

 

Wasteland or rich pasture?

Written by serene. Posted on November 13, 2007. Filed under I am awesome. 4 Comments.

My mind has developed a new and fascinating habit. I’ve been aware of this new development in many places: sitting on the bus, facing the window at work, laying in bed, and even in the shower. In these mundane moments my mind is totally, entirely, completely empty. This mental wasteland was previously littered with everyday debris: where I had heard this song before, why did he said that to me, does anyone appreciate my ugly socks like I do, what is she doing right now? The moments I recognize I have not a thought in my mind are times when that mindweight would previously cripple me; I’d get butterflies from anticipation, tears over perceived pains, curiosity from these unanswerable thoughts. And this burden is no longer mine to bear.

I can’t figure out how or why my mind has decluttered. I am starting to appreciate it though. Rather than being consumed with everyday worries and interests I’m an empty vessel. I’ve stopped worrying at some basic level. I may have even been ignoring some of you. It’s not that I don’t have love in my heart or moments where I genuinely care about what is going on, it’s just my concern switch is disengaged. I’d like to this is a result of my supremely functioning brain instigating an evolutionary improvement. More likely is that my body is taking control of my mind to prepare me for whatever is in my future.

This realization has led to appreciation of all that movement around me. Have you ever had the feeling that everyone is buzzing around you in an aimless way, getting to places you aren’t going and seeing things that you aren’t seeing and are loving things you don’t love? There you are, insulated in a bubble of calm and serenity, while everything seems to pass you by with such velocity that you get a little nauseous?

That’s the way I’ve been feeling.

And no, I’m not depressed. Or at least that is my self-diagnosis. Not that I’ve really been depressed before. Can one be depressed in the same way a functional alcoholic gets through life (Kahlua in the coffee, vodka in the Sprite, despair in the cup, a smile on the face)? I’d assume that I would have the realization that something is amiss. I mean, I’m not asking for a flashing display over my head, but someone somewhere might realize that I’m severely off. Thankfully, none of this has happened.

My days have been mundane. I’ve been getting around to all those books acquired and forgotten about. I’ve been in repose on the couch watching bad reality television involving models which sometimes results in feeling wholly unattractive and undesirable. I’ve been appreciating my dog at my feet and the stupid blanket keeping me warm during the cold Pacific Northwest winter. This bored and thoughtless life is not as bad as it seems. No, really.

But you know what? Things are alright. They really are. And they probably always were, I was just too preoccupied with the details to notice.

Halloween, Part 2

Written by serene. Posted on November 1, 2007. Filed under Nerdy. No comments.

Under the cloak of night, a group of zombies descended upon a quaint street in the neighborhood of Ravenna known as Candy Cane Lane. The winding street, dotted with charming homes, is renowned for their delightful song and light shows and their festive holiday spirit. This usually beings in December. Filled with holiday spirit, the mob swooped in early on the unsuspecting neighborhood. The horde of zombies delighted their audience with rounds of holiday classic songs, such as “Jingle Brains” and “We Wish You a Brainy Christmas.”

Surprisingly enough, most of the reception was warm and amused. Some, like the unfortunate child who opened to door to twenty blood thirsty zombies, seemed nonplussed and maybe even frightened. All in all, fun was had, cocoa was consumed, and brains were eaten. That, my friends, is the true Halloween spirit.